New Year's Disillusions

Well, I did it. I stayed up past midnight, I sang off key about old acquaintances long forgotten, and I toasted with sparkling apple cider. Then I tucked my very tired children into bed, bid my inlaws goodnight, and did the same. And the next morning I woke up feeling no different than I had hours before. A friend asked me what my New Year's Resolution was... and I sweetly smiled and said... "to not spend time making promises I won't keep."

I don't mean that in a mean way. But year after year we look at the calendar and use the date as an excuse to take action. 'This is the year I am going to get back down to my college pants size..." "This is the year I am finally going to take up running..." "No more procrastinating..." I mean really, do we honestly need the guilt and pressure?

I am willing to submit that the people who make the most change in their life are the ones who didn't mandate the change. They had a goal, and worked toward it. They sought out support on their terms... and when they fell shy of their mark they got up and tried again. And I am willing to bet...they liked themselves the old way too.

Trust me, I am far from perfect. I don't eat right, don't exercise enough, and I love my hair weaves and wigs. I can be loud, quirky, and just plain rude when the situation calls for it. I am working on making better decisions and getting healthy. But it isn't because I want to be this new person. I just happened to finally realize the old me is pretty awesome... and that's made all the difference. Let's see how far this all goes.