Confessions of a Soccer Mom Wannabe

Is school out... YET?

2010-05-09T14:02:00.000-07:00

Well, it is Mother's Day. I am excited, because just yesterday I was feeling down in the dumps. But my kids all had something for me for today... and my hubby made me a POWERPOINT collage of pics and music featuring our family. It was great to have him think of something so sweet!

My issue for this week: Standardized testing! It is that time again... and I know the kids will be crazy. And as soon as testing is over... we have two weeks until school is out! WOOT! It is always hard this time of year. Everyone is so tired, and summer break seems so.far.off. Testing goes through Friday. Pray for us!

The grand pack up for moving to our new (to us) house continues. The one thing about having a small house... the issue isn't packing so much as figuring out where in the world to put the boxes when you do! It's getting interesting!

More of an update soon! I am off to putter and plan!

Surviving the Season

2010-03-19T13:27:00.000-07:00

Well, this week has been... ummm... interesting. Mike's sick again (and I hate it for him, because there is nothing like being sick without knowing the cause, as it makes you feel helpless and vulnerable), and this has been the week of issues. Filed taxes, and we owe. Yay. Makes me so ready to mail a check... NOT! Students are cranky, kids are cranky... Mike and me... CRANKY. So like no other week, today is wonderful if for no other reason than it is FRIDAY.

But I heard something today when I was listening to my TD Jakes podcast that moved me to tears. So, I thought I would share it with you all (if for no other reason than to have someone else to cry with). Dr. Paula White was speaking about how S. Truett Cathy was on the brink of financial downfall, how he was in a hospital, with not enough insurance to cover his medical expenses or much-needed treatment, all while grieving the relatively recent loss of his two brothers to a plane crash (they were all flying in to attend a business meeting with Truett). How it was there in that hospital room, at one of his bleakest hours that the idea for Chick Fil A was born... how it has become one of the largest and most successful businesses in existence -- all during a time when so much was upon this man that he should have been knocked down. Dr. White, summed it up with this: "The conspirators can come to you and they can take a lot in your life... but they can never take your dream! As long as you have a dream you have a destiny!"

That spoke to me. I have so many dreams... don't you? I spent a good part of yesterday feeling sorry for myself... wondering why it was that every time we moved to go forward we get knocked back six paces... and I just wanted to crawl into a hole and wait for it all to pass, even if I knew it wouldn't. I prayed last night to find an answer. This morning, it was on my heart to listen to the podcasts. I prayed again to see the way more clearly, and I listened. I am so glad I did.

You know, there is always going to be some kind of storm. That's the way life is. Maybe for some of us it will be the finances. For some of us it will be medical issues... for still others it will be emotional pain. But you know, if Spring teaches us anything, it is that flowers can't bloom without the rain. I am a rose in a garden of prosperity and happiness. I have to trust that my day to bloom is coming -- and yours is too!

So it is Friday. Strangely, I am energized, rather than fatigued. I am ready to chase a dream, to fight for my abundance and prosperity. I have a dream, and I refuse to let it go. Check back to see our family journey into a new and better season.

Spring BREAKAGE

2010-03-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

So it is March... typically referred to by us educators as death March... since for so many of us, the time between Holiday break and Spring break is often a push to the finish with few days off -- and you end up so tired at the end of it, you truly feel like you're gonna die. And thus, it is around this time of year that finds me in need: in need of rest, in need of patience, and possibly, in need of an intervention.

Lots of things are going on right now. Kiki, my youngest little girl, turned 4 yesterday. She is getting to be such a big girl. As a family, we spent the weekend trying to make her feel as special and loved as she is. I was a little sad to mark the day though (and no, not just because it was Daylight Savings and I lost sleep!). Kierra is likely my last baby. I don't know how she has grown up so fast! I remember just giving birth to her... just being pregnant with her... just finding out that there was a little miracle in my body. We had wanted another... but despite trying we weren't getting pregnant... with others all I had done was think about a baby and POOF I was preggo that cycle... but even after two years I was nowhere near it. I had just accepted a mentor teacher position at a local middle school, had just given up on the idea of having another baby when, after a three-week-long traveling adventure that took us as far west as Minneapolis, we found out we were finally expecting. That pregnancy would be a challenge, but Kiki wanted to be here, and she made it! She was the proudest four year old EVER! Between flower picking, movies, and a very special day at church and at home with the family, she was just tuckered out! It was awesome to see.

Everyone in the house seems to be suffering from allergies... which is never fun. Poor Mike has no voice left... and the older two kids are hacking and sniffling. Kiki is stuffy and hiving up some still... Zyrtec is our friend.

With the perpetual illnesses, the burnout and the fatigue, I know that I am in need of a BREAK... before I crack. Thankfully, spring break is coming for our schools at the end of the month.

Writing is going... well, it is going. I keep stopping and starting... getting new clients that seem promising, and having projects put on hold... I am OK with this even if my pocketbook is SCREAMING. I have promised myself that I would not sell myself short this year. This means not hanging onto clients who want to pay beer and chips cash for champagne quality. It has mean taking a hit to the wallet some... but I have a pretty impressive writing portfolio, and it is time I get what I (and my time) are worth. I love teaching, but there it is no secret that my ultimate goal is to be home more -- or at least more available for them. I am thinking about looking into virtual or telecommuting positions ini teaching or consulting. Wish me luck!

So, there it is... a peek into the life of a Wannabe... how's it going for you? I would love to hear from you! Drop me a line and let me know how it's going in your world!

A Rat on a Wheel

2010-01-17T13:40:00.000-08:00

Yep. You read correctly. I have stayed so busy these past couple weeks that I quite literally feel like a giant rodent exercising on a Ferris wheel. Of course, truth be told, I brought this on myself. I managed to double book myself on a number of occasions recently, with the unfortunate but predictable end result: total exhaustion.

My biggest goal for this weekend: organization! We still haven't put away all the Holiday stuff... presents, decorations, etc. languish about in very odd places in my home, because I have not carved out a home for them. I am hoping to get them stored, with a few more surfaces cleared, by the end of the weekend, so that I no longer fear middle of the night trips to the potty. Of course, what really is needed is for us to get rid of a LOT of stuff... outgrown clothes, toys, etc. We don't need it, and it could be helping someone else right now. My next goal is to accomplish this feat, one room at a time. Got any tips to help me? I would love to hear all about how to shape up my world!

New Year's Disillusions

2010-01-09T10:19:00.000-08:00

Well, I did it. I stayed up past midnight, I sang off key about old acquaintances long forgotten, and I toasted with sparkling apple cider. Then I tucked my very tired children into bed, bid my inlaws goodnight, and did the same. And the next morning I woke up feeling no different than I had hours before. A friend asked me what my New Year's Resolution was... and I sweetly smiled and said... "to not spend time making promises I won't keep."

I don't mean that in a mean way. But year after year we look at the calendar and use the date as an excuse to take action. 'This is the year I am going to get back down to my college pants size..." "This is the year I am finally going to take up running..." "No more procrastinating..." I mean really, do we honestly need the guilt and pressure?

I am willing to submit that the people who make the most change in their life are the ones who didn't mandate the change. They had a goal, and worked toward it. They sought out support on their terms... and when they fell shy of their mark they got up and tried again. And I am willing to bet...they liked themselves the old way too.

Trust me, I am far from perfect. I don't eat right, don't exercise enough, and I love my hair weaves and wigs. I can be loud, quirky, and just plain rude when the situation calls for it. I am working on making better decisions and getting healthy. But it isn't because I want to be this new person. I just happened to finally realize the old me is pretty awesome... and that's made all the difference. Let's see how far this all goes.

Summer Daze....

2009-08-01T06:30:00.000-07:00

OK, so I wanna know... where did my summer go? How is it Aug 1 already? It's not fair, it's not fair.... WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Ok, that's done. Now for a catching up. Book deal got put on hold for the moment (although I suspect it is moving forward with other more willing subjects than myself). Of course this was after I spent the lion's share of my summer trying to work as writer, project mgr, agent, rep, mom, wife, teacher, friend.... can we say fried? In a way, it was only natural that I would tumble.... it was just too much. The wake up call? Oddly it was literal. It was the morning my father called to tell me his father had passed. Grandaddy was old... 97... but still, it was a blow. And hearing his angst was just what I needed to put things in perspective about what was important. And for the first time in a while, I looked around. And saw my three girls growing up like gangbusters.... and saw my hubby needing attention.... and saw my health going back to a place that just wasn't... ok, healthy. My online friends weren't seeing me... my real life friends weren't seeing me... and I just didn't like having to choose to meet a deadline.

Now this doesn't mean that I won't be writing a book -- after all, someone said I write a lot like Erma Bombeck. But I am going to be writing my own this time... and collaborating with a friend as well. The timetable for turnaround is a lot longer when you are doing it for you. It will allow me to teach, be a Mommy, a Wife, a Friend... and myself. I like that.

Are you wanting to write, too? Come on and join me! There are moms all over who write, and lots of mailing groups and forums just for them. You can join the ones I am on... or I can create one for all of us women entrepreneurs... let's reinvent, reenergize, and renew -- TOGETHER!

Living the Dream

2009-06-19T18:38:00.000-07:00

This has been one of those weeks where I felt I was living a dream. I have started a dream job writing a book, and working on the marketing of said tome... I have been out on summer break from school and thus allowed to breathe and rest... and I have been exposed to some very influential people in the writing and publishing industry. The little girl in me feels giddy... and the grown up is struggling to stay out and play...

The kids are at day camp, allowing me time to work, and them time to play. This has proven invaluable. I love my kids... their whining, not so much. It is amazing how many times one can hear "I'm bored" or "Why can't we do ___?" or "Mooooooom, sissy's bothering me!!!" in a one hour period. And amazing how much I can wish to be elsewhere so I don't have to hear it...at a root canal, being crucified, having surgery without drugs...

I am coming off an intense week working on a new book. Bookwriting can be emotional. For me, the book makes me remember things of the past. Good and bad. But while some would think this to be a negative thing, I have found it strangely comforting. Sometimes you must examine the path you've taken to appreciate your journey. I have done a lot, been through a lot, and paid some dues. This project has forced me to bring a lot of that into perspective. I am a survivor. I like the thought of that.

Things are good right now. I think I am in for a great summer!

Last week of School... My Prayer

2009-06-09T07:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord,

Thank you for blessing me and keeping me sound in mind, body and spirit. Lord, I ask that you place your mighty hand on others to bless them in the same way. And Lord, I ask that you visit twice, thrice, oh shoot, that you just never leave the side of our youth. Particularly those who are pining to get out of school this week. Please open their minds to know that their teachers are just as eager and just as miserable and resentful for being held calendar hostage as they are, and that they really don't care to deal with the sour attitudes, the crazy behavior, and the blatant zoo-like behavior (no offense to PETA or the NWF)... and Lord, I ask that you lay your hands of restraint upon those who have to deal with these children, that we don't give in to the temptation to lay on hands upside their heads to annoint them with the mark of goodness, casting out all evils... although at this point to do so would mean they have nothing left up there to spare...

And Lord, if we make it through til Friday, we know it will be because of You, Your unending love... a lot of GRACE... and lots of chocolate. Thank you especially for that. Amen.

TUI?!?

2009-05-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

For those who have been missing me, I do apologize. I have tried and tried to write this week, but when I would sit down, all that would come to mind is ooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww. My back has chosen this wonderfully convenient time of year to give me trouble again. So between the Lortab and the Flexeril... I have been a little too punch drunk oops indisposed to write.

Now, while I might see being under the influence of narcotic pain killers as a slight handicap, I was quite amazed that the docs did not. On Tuesday, I went to the emergency room as the back pain was getting to be a bit much. They immediately began checking me for stones. That was negative, but they did discover that I have pretty bad back issues, and referred me to an ortho. They discharged me with the lovely drugs referenced above and these instructions:

Don't drive - limit activity;
Don't make any important life decisions;
But don't worry, you should be fine to teach!

Ok. Maybe I am just not getting it. I can't drive or do anything that might put my three kids at risk... but I am ok to work with and supervise the hundred or so kids I see in a day -- and its alright? Um, no. Needless to say I stayed home the next day. And today, I am making it on Aleve.

It's disheartening to know what people really think about the teaching profession. If you were a parent of one of my students, would you want to know I was up in the classroom stoked and smoked and bandying about with tools (I teach a very hands-on curriculum)? Really? And is my job so easy that anyone could do it, even under the influence? How novel... I wonder... if I had come in, would a doctor's note have taken care of the lawsuit, if something had happened?

So there is the tale of my latest saga. As the school year winds to a wild close, I am sure you will all be glad to know that while I may feel like I am being driven to it at times, I don't engage in TUI... even if a medical professional gives me permission. ;)

Pollen Crack

2009-05-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

I have a theory about spring fever, and why it attacks so violently among school age children. I think that pollen is to blame. It is the reason my students act so crazy...

I call it my theory of pollen crack... here's how it works. You see, the sinuses and nasal passages and whatnot, they are all pretty closely connected up there... and come spring, with everything in bloom, the pollen just flies everywhere. Kids inhale while they are out there getting all that wonderful fresh air... and the little yellow granules target and invade. As the allergic response is triggered, and things get swollen and congested, perhaps a few good brain cells are destroyed... and the poor babies are helpless to do anything but succumb to the temporary lobotomy. Surely, it is a plausible excuse... it could happen...

So while you are out and about playing and enjoying your weekend, remember to stop and smell the roses... just don't inhale too deeply. :)

Is God Like Ice Cream?

2009-05-21T09:10:00.000-07:00

Ok, so if you know me in person, you know that I am no Bible scholar. That's not to say that I don't have faith... but I can't quote you chapter and verse like many of my friends. Regardless, I was tickled to be privvy to a conversation this AM between some of my students. They had finished up their work and were chatting in the back of the room. Their topic? What race is God. One child was telling the other one that God was Black and from Egypt. They were yelling about how in the Bible, it speaks of his wooly hair. The other child was going on about how that wasn't so, using the depiction of Him in The Last Supper as his basis. Me? I wasn't touching that conversation with a ten foot pole -- you know, separation of church and state and all...

So I started thinking. And of course my hubby reminded me of Bill Cosby's take on Santa Claus... how he comes down the chimney representative of whatever culture the people are... and I quipped: "So God's like ice cream? Available in 33 Flavors?"

I guess what I am forever puzzled by is people's need to personify Him. Isn't it enough to see the evidence of His existence in the flowers and the trees... in the miracle of life, the peace of repose in death? My mother was given 6 months to live when I was three... she died in 2002, well in defiance of the odds... who gave her that will to survive, that powerful healing? I don't have to see a face to know to be thankful for it, to be thankful to Him.

Nonetheless, I will say the conversation the kids had before I shut them down (have to keep them on task, you know) did amuse me. But just in case my ice cream theory is right... I'll take fudge ripple in a waffle cup.

Who Am I?

2009-05-20T08:17:00.000-07:00

So, I have tried this blogging thing before. I was great at it, but life kept getting in the way. Ha... me, too busy to blab? It's true. It can happen.

But I have come to recognize that there are some very good reasons out there to blog:

I have a lot to say, and I need an outlet. My writing business only allows me to talk about my clients business... I have plenty to speak about my own world.
Family. My family lives all over the place... Alabama, Indiana, Maryland, Georgia... keeping everyone in the loop is hard... some have the right email... some have another one... I just need a central location for everyone!
I want to keep track of my kids' lives.
I love my computer... believe it or not, it is easier to blog than to keep a written journal.
Just cuz I'm good like that... :)

So, just who am I? I am a wife and mother, a teacher, a healer, a superwoman, a fighter... all wrapped up in a plump chocolate package. My husband and I are the proud parents of three girls, ages 10, 8, and 3. We both teach... so as you might imagine, this time of year is a little tough. :) We live in Beaufort, SC where we tend to take the sand and surf of the coast a bit for granted.

In our spare time, Mike and I write, edit, and do other freelance things. We are slowly building our business there so that I can possibly work from home in a few years. Believe it or not, I do have the pseudo dream of a nuclear family... where the mom is home with cookies and milk when the kids come in from school... reads the kids bedtime stories, and tucks them in. Right now, that's not gonna happen in my world... but I can Deedream...